zwinky

You all know me, if there is an avatar to be made I am making it. There was a commercial about the Zwinky avatar. I had seen it before but have never made one and wanted to check it out. The clothes that are free of course aren't that cute they are actually boring. You can get nice clothes but it's going to cost you to do so. I went on and made the avie under the same name as my avie in second life. Cute huh lol. Yes she is ok, the website is www.getzwinky.com.

Yesterday was really nice, My youngest son came in with a huge breakfast of sausage, bacon, hash browns, eggs, french toast, milk and orange juice. My oldest gave me this beautiful heart silver diamond bracelet. Went to the job because I had to drop something off, got to see Victor, Jeanette (who looks really good let me add), Denise (who was on the phone) and other faces. Dena wasn't there (sad face) she was off, Jerrie was in the bosses office and could not be interrupted (another sad face). But I did get to see them which was great. After we left there Dee took me to an earlier dinner, then he took me to bu the Sims castaway on pc (which I don't like at the moment), he also got me a chocolate chip ice cream cake from Baskin Robbin's and a card. In game he took me to eat again (and we wonder why I am so fat people lol), we then went dancing. He played a little piano for me lol, we went to a romantic spot and just talked. Oh yes, he took me to get a brand new Nissan Sentra blue. Early this morning I have several gifts and a cake. Dena got me some bubble gum, a tshirt, a sign. My game sister got me a cute little sexy outfit that I can't show you lol, some friends got me 2 jean outfits and some boots, I got a few pieces of jewelry, and a few other gifts. I will be adding photos hopefully now.

My sissy send me this hehe

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Happy Birthday..

I have been depressed for the past few days, each day that approached today was making me more and more depressed and sad. I don't know why I felt this way, each birthday before this one I have always been upbeat and happy that I was another year older. But this birthday was different, until this morning. I woke up around 5am and laid in bed, I listen to Dee snore until I poked him in his side and he turned over. I had been snappy at his all day the day before and after a few hours of that I told him why. I went back to sleep and woke up again at 6am, but this time I felt different. I closed my eyes and was happy I had made another year in my life. I logged into game and Dena had send me a message wishing me a Happy Birthday, that put a smile on my face. Dee then woke up and grabbed me and kissed me and said Happy Birthday Baby. I realize that the older I get I should be grateful, grateful that I am here yet another day. So today, I'm going to get up and get out and enjoy my day. No money in hand so I am going to go to a park or something but I refuse to stay at home. REFUSE!!!

This took me BACK!! rofl

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Take some PRIDE people

Yesterday we went to the doctor AGAIN, I was unable to eat from the day before because of another blood test. We got out of the doctors office around 11am and I was really hungry. You'll be happy to know I have really been eating right and taking my meds. But yesterday my hunger got the best of me and I told Dee to stop at McDonalds. After he rolled his eyes a few he caved into my DEMANDS and we got in the drive thru. Breakfast of course was over so I had to pick from the lunch menu. I am trying to watch my cash flow so I ordered a 10 piece chicken mcnugget and a Ice Tea no sugar (I know it sounds nasty but I actually like it). We ask for extra Bar B Que sauce several times, pay for our meal and drive off. We drive a bit and I tell Dee to pull over so I can enjoy my lunch and the small drops of rain that were coming down. I opened my chicken mcuggets box, poured a few fries out and gave Dee the rest. I then open my bar b Que sauce and put it in the same side as my fries so I can dip. hmmmm. I then put my straw in my non sugar Ice Tea and took a sip. I went to take a mcnugget and dipped, I took a bite. I chewed and dipped again, enjoying the taste of who knows what parts of the damn chicken they make them with. I finish then ate a french and started my ritual again with my next mcnugget. I looked down and the number of mcnuggets caught my eye. I had eaten one, was eating half one but there were only seven left in my little box. SEVEN? lets see, one I ate, two I was eating and seven were left in my box. That would mean it was nine mcnuggets in my box not ten. I sit there for a moment wondering who the fuck could confuse nine with ten. I looked at Dee and I told him "there were only nine mcnuggets not ten in my box" He looked at me puzzled, and I repeated it again but louder "THERE WERE ONLY NINE MCNUGGETS NOT TEN IN MY BOX DEE" "THEY SCREWED ME OUT OF A MCNUGGET". Dee's eyes got big because I am sure he didn't know what my next statement or move was going to be. I said "Who the fuck can't count at McDonalds" I started thinking back when we were in high school and my friend Michelle told me how they would make sure that the employees did EVERYTHING right when she worked at McDonalds. She said they acted like it was a million dollar job. The training was long and if you couldn't cut it you were FIRED!! I never worked at McDonalds or any other fast food places. I was always the baby sitter because Kids liked me for some odd reason, and most parents trusted me to be nice to their little brats. I was a good sitter tho, I would color with them, play barbies, play ball I just liked kids and they liked me. So fast food was never my thing, but I do know the food tasted better and the service was BETTER. I got pissed because I remember how the chick at the speaker of the fucking drive thru couldn't speak English and Dee had to repeat himself three times for a damn McNugget meal and a shake for himself. Then when we got up to the window the cute little dark skin sisah was so busy smiling and flirting with Dee she didn't hear him ask for extra bar b Que sauce THREE TIMES. Don't misunderstand me, I am happy for anyone to gets a job and are working. This country was built on hard working people from every place around the world and you ALL know I am not one to talk about any group or groups of people. Especially not Spanish or blacks those are MY PEOPLE!! (OK one group but we all know I can't help that it is what it is). But if you can't count my damn McNuggets why are you at McDonald's or is that the REASON your at McDonald's. I know your all thinking Sam has finally lost it and she needs a break from her break. It is not that, I am just sick of people who don't give a shit about their job and or doing it. This goes back to Dena's post about how ppl just don't take their jobs or any other damn job for that matter serious. You want to get a job and be respected for it, then take some fucking PRIDE in what you do no matter what it is. This has however made me look at ME a little harder and I, when I get back to work, will treat my job MUCH better then I did before. I know missing one mcnugget out of my lunch isn't much, but think about the other countless mistakes we IGNORE at drive thrus. We ignore the no ketchup, we ignore the no napkins, we ignore when we order something without mustard and they give us extra, we ignore too much that we are consumers pay for. I want my damn 10th mcnugget my ass was hungry and someone couldn't take enough pride in their job to make sure all my pieces got in my tiny box. It's not just fast food either, it's car shops, clothing stores, it's every place where you should get good service and be treated with respect. It's telephone companies, cell phone companies, cable companies everyone needs to get with the program. Next time I will count them out and go OFF if they are not the correct amount. I had suggested to go back to Dee and walk in there and ask for a Manager but Dee wouldn't take me back. rofl. So you know me, I got home and called they asses and spoke to a manager. I will be enjoying a free lunch before the end of the weekend. *SMILES WICKEDLY*

This music is made from only windows xp & 98 sounds

I'm backkkkkkkkk

MY ILLNESS:
I saw my doctor today and even with all my begging, crying, and bribing she still feels I should go back to work on March 3th. I feel a lot better, I have been able to sleep the past 3 nights and wake up refreshed and not feeling like I been hit by a truck. Dee's had surgery last week that didn't turn out at all like it should of. (my friends will heard of his in person we know I just put so much here since I know others are reading). Let's just say when I walked out of the office I went into administration and acted, well like ME! By the time I walked out they were kissing my ass and you know how big I am that was no small task. We went back today to another Doctor, and had some work done today. I couldn't pick up my paperwork because my doctors nurse was not available and she was with patients all day. The surgery done on Dee today was by another doctor, who, was very nice, patient and told us everything we needed to know. I walked out feeling a lot better about Dee's situation then I had prior to seeing this other wack job. We go to the doctors office at 9:20 and left at 12;30pm. But Dee feels better and I feel like I am ready to take my fat ass back to my JOB!!!

SECOND LIFE:
I went in game a few days back to pay rent and was so happy Dena aka Scarlett had already taken care of it. She just doesn't know how much of a load that was off me. I know your all thinking she should be worrying about her real life rent and other bills. TRUST ME, I do worry about it but I don't like any bills unpaid, even bills in a virtual world. I had the lindens on me already (lindens are game money). I just need to get my share of the rent to Scarlett. I was happy to see my clothing store still in tack and still having sales. I am going to do my best to try to get new clothing and jewelry items in the store so that I can use those funds in real life. Right now I am on the edge, the game within a months time could be profitable again. I am even thinking of getting back into the maternity business. In game having a baby is very profitable, but the only part that I can't stand is the day to day activity dealing with patients who come into the clinic for help. There is nothing wrong with "role playing", but I don't like when people really lose their minds and think you are a real damn doctor and over do the roleplay thing. I roleplay very well in second life, I play the role of a doctor very well and I treat my patients with respect and understanding. However, there is a limited of what I will do and how far I do the roleplay thing. So with that being said I will debate on going back to being a doctor and we will see from there.

THE KINGDOM:
I am no way a critic like my good friend, best buddy, life long pal Victor is. But I saw the movie the Kingdom on ppv with Jamie Fox. Mind you, I am not a big Jamie Fox fan. He was excellent in "Ray" as well as in "Dear Girls". But we all know next to Jay Z, LL Cool J is my man ( god those lips). There was a movie called "Any given Sunday" the role of "Willie Beamen" was to go to LL Cool J and another role of "Julian Washington" that was to go to Jamie Fox. Well Jamie got the role of "Wille Beamen" if you see the movie you can clearly see the role was meant for LL not Jamie. However Jamie at the time was a bigger box office star and he, Jamie wanted the role. He threaten to leave the movie if not given this role. So "Warner Brothers" (yeah them) put there tails between there legs and gave Jamie's cry baby ass the role and since they couldn't just get rid of LL they gave him Jamie's damn role. Both LL and Jamie were on several talk shows and talked about the issue since it was very well known at that time. LL told it like it was, and Jamie in turn called LL a "sour loser" pffft. Anyway back to the movie of "the Kingdom" rofl, (got off track didn't I rofl). The movie to me was very good, it clearly makes you think about how people will risk life and limb because of HATE for others. They will kill there OWN people, innocent people and even sometimes themselves just to get to OTHERS. It's a powerful and moving movie, with a deep message, At the end it enlightens you to a lot more then you know. SEE IT!! Maybe Vic will discuss it later if he sees it.

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?:
For the past four months there has been some builders working on an apartment next to our building. Why they are not finish yet is beyond me and the rest of the damn street. I think they are a cheap little outfit and trying to milk the client for every damn manual labor hours they can. They always take up the street parking in front of the place and across it during the day which is fine. They have to work and they should have the vehicles there, I guess. However, a few days back they really did something that pissed me off. Now the client owns the building NOT the sidewalk, and they damn sure don't own the street in front of the half done building. Well I think they forgot they don't own it, not only did they put a yellow tape front each end of the building to beyond the side walk. But into the street taking up two and a half parking spots. They also put some wood panels there to ensure no one parks there. I am sure you wonder why I care about parking because yes I have a place to park in the back of the building. But due to the gate being non functioning half the time it is easier for Dee to park on the street. A few nights back while coming home from the doctors there were no parking spaces to be had. BUT!! there was this yellow tape and wood panels in front of the place. So, I, the next morning I put on some jeans and a top, my tee shirt and a hair band and walked my sick, fat, mean ass out to speak to the foremen. I told him ass OFF!! telling him he had no rights to the street and sidewalk, because of him people were walking in the street because he had the sidewalk and the curb blocked off. He said, to me, "Lady, who are you to tell me that I can't put yellow tape and wood panels in front of my building". I then, nicely, ok not nicely answered him by saying "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU... that you think you can put your wood panels and ticker tape on a public sidewalk and street". I then went on to tell him, "I am a bitch with nothing to do and I will sit on the phone with the city and let them know that you are making yourself at home on a public sidewalk and street, which is own by the city of fucking Reseda". I also told him, "I am sick at home right now buddy, I have a computer, a printer and a damn stamp and I can walk out my door around 3pm to the mailbox and personally make sure the mailman, real name Mario takes my letter in which I write the city telling them how you think your Mr. Reseda and hand it to him so he can deliver it to the post office and the city should get it in a few days". Yeah I was a bitch rofl, I am happy to say that he has not done that anymore and even tho he rolls his eyes at me each time he sees me he knows I will rip his little cheap ass building company a new one. ** BIG SMILE **

Anyway, I am going crazy being home and it is not fun as some people think. I miss my job, my friends, I miss just being out the house for a few hours without going to see a doctor. I will start writing more in my blog because it does give me more to do and it takes me away from my not so exciting life now. Miss all of ya!! Hey read Victor and Dena's blogs they are interesting.

FOOTNOTE TO DENA"S BLOG
Dena wrote about a newbie who isn't get the job because he doesn't pay attention. I heard about this person from several people at the job. She also writes about some who don't even log in to do work until 30 minutes after the time they come in. My comment to that is this..

I am so done with the way some ppl can do wtf they want. I come in and do my job. I am not the best employee I have a lot of things going on that I need to curb and get under control. BUT I do my damn job and I take my job seriously. It's sad that so many people just don't get it. Where we work is not perfect. BUT!! it is a job and it pays the bills and no matter how much we moan about it we do our job!! Well some of us do. *shrugs*

You got to have STRENGTH!

Yesterday I was ready to go back to work. I have been so sick and tired of being sick and tired. At home I don' do anything, the computer just sits there, I look at TV but it's watching me. I felt yesterday would be my first step towards my life change. As Dee and I drove up in the parking lot, a heated feeling came over me, then sweats, then I couldn't catch my breath. He put his hand on mine and asked if I were OK, I lied and said yes. Michelle from HR had told me to see her first before going into the call center. I walked in her office and right away she asked me was I OK. I then couldn't seem to catch my breath at all. I started shaking and I just couldn't get this feeling of dread from my mind. She then suggested I go back home. I didn't want to give in to what I was feeling so going home to me wasn't going to happen unless I had no other choice. I didn't want to give in to not being able to go back to the job I NEED!!. I thought if I don't do it today when will I do it. I told her I would be OK and I begin to walk in the call center. So many faces greeted me with hugs and smiles. It felt good that so many missed me, I missed a few I will admit. But the ones closest to my heart I missed more. I stood there and of course Jerrie begin to tease and tell us to sell sell sell. lol. She can always make me smile and laugh. Victor always makes me feel loved by his smile and making me know how much he missed me. Dena wasn't there (SAD FACE) She is sick too. Jerrie could tell something was wrong right away as well tho. Suddenly I had to get out, I had to get some air. I walked out the call center in the parking lot and then started feeling like I should not be there. But I had to make an effect, had to make this work. I came back and assure Jerrie I would be fine, I started feeling like my old self. Joking, teasing being mean I then felt like OK I am back I can do this. The day passed by quickly because we had a 2 hour training and I was reading my emails and Jerrie, Victor and Denise was catching me up to the few changes we had at work.

I went home at 5pm by 8pm I felt weird, strange and not really up to staying up. I tried to sleep but couldn't, I tossed and turned all night. I got up this morning now feeling worst then yesterday. BUT I wanted to do it, it had to be done. We got dressed, I walked in the call center and there it was again, those FEELINGS!!! This time it could not be ignored or pushed away, I called my doctor and she told me to come in ASAP!! I went to her and she took my blood pressure and as I already knew. It was SKY HIGH!! She then suggested I take another two weeks off work. I begin to get more upset because this is not what I want. I want to work, I want to feel OK. The job is not the only thing that makes me react like this, its MANY things. So being home isn't a joy or fun. It's more stress to be home and just doing nothing. The doctor talk to me for an hour and a half trying to convinced me I needed to take this extra time. I told her, let me try one more day. If I can't go back to work on Saturday and feel like I am OK I will go ahead and take this time off. She agreed and make me an appointment for Tuesday at 8:45am which I am trying to avoid but truth is I know I have to face whatever there is to face. This is not me, I have always been in COMPLETE Control of everything. Even when I wasn't in complete control, no one knew it because I didn't know it. I made myself a promise that I would do whatever it took to get better. I want to do that, that would be in my best interest and I know it would be. But I don't know how to let go of something I don't know I am holding on too. So I will try again tomorrow. Meanwhile, I will go in game and do something other then just sit here and wonder what is next. I think maybe I need to get on the blog and write, maybe I should get in the game and try to have fun. I want to work, I need to work, I have worked all my life and do not see that coming to an end soon. I need something to get myself together. So with that being said, I am going to log into Second life, I will find something to come back and talk about and tomorrow I will go to work. BUT I will be honest with myself, whatever I need to do, take whatever, I will do.

32 damn oz

I have been up a little before 6:30am (lol of course a damn m). I have to see the xray tech at 9 and my doctor at 8:30. I am praying to be released tomorrow to finally be able to go back to work. Each time I go back it's yet another issue with my health that pulls me back to square one. I have been doing EVERYTHING I have been told. This morning I am suppose to drink 32 ounces of water for my 9am appt. I started at 7am and was told I needed to be finish by 8am. This is hard because I am NOT a water drinker in the least bit. I am here tho, drinking my water and watching "All about Eve" with one of my favorite silver screen actresses Bette Davis. Damn it's 7:40 am and I still have a wayssssssssss to go with this damn water. Do any of you have any idea how hard it is to drink 32 full ounces of water and HOLD IT!! I am already feeling it's effects and its just 7:42. I have been taking my meds every day along with my iron pills. I am ready to go back, not to mention I feel a lot better and am able to get on my blog and talk shit. lol. I am really on the edge and in hopes I can be released today to go back tomorrow. I also have to make sure my doctor writes the FMLA papers correctly this time. Each time I take it to her and give it back to Michelle there is an issue or an error. I want her to just get it RIGHT!!! I can not be asking that much of her can I. So with that being said let me finish my water. I will be on here once I get home to let you know the good, or the bad news. Alright another.... sip. Oh yeah another $15 co payment.

Hello??

HELLO, Who is this?, WHO IS THIS???? .....Sam,......... SAM WHO???

First of all let me say I"M BACKKKKKKKKKKKK (somewhat) this has been one of the longest few weeks of my life. I have gone to the doctor so much I know the receptionist husband, kids and dogs name. Let me get pass the illness information first. NO!! Let me first say I MISSED ALL MY READERS (all two of you lol) just kidding. I didn't realize how many readers I had until I got some emails telling me how much I was missed. I came on line and got a few ims asking what was going on with my blog. THANK YOU it means a lot to know that people care about what I say. After all.. I'm Sam why would you not. lolTo say the Facey Medical got some serious money out of me is an understatement. Each time I go to see the doctor it's $15 and with me and Dee both being ill it's been $30. Dee has been going twice a week, me about once. Each time we got happy hearing we would be able to be released we would go back to find yet something else wrong or I would feel badly again. I have been sleeping more then anything. My headaches are finally to the point I can actually look at a computer more then 15 or 20 minutes without feeling my eye sockets pounding. Dee had surgery today but nothing major just something that had to be done. He was in some real pain but got some meds and it helped him enough where he is quiet. I know I have said it before and have not done it. But I truly am going to change my life style and get my health together. This has been a REAL eye opener for me. Many friends, family and others have been urging me to get my act together and it's not that I am ignoring it. It's just that I didn't want to admit I was as bad off as I am. Now with realistic truths standing before me I have to either get busy getting myself together or get busy finding a nice plot. That is real talk I am speaking right now. So I vow to take care of ME before anyone else. OK now that we are past that.

HOW THE HELL IS EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss work! Can you believe that?. I miss my coworkers, my friends, the money, the breaks, the Coyotes **HOWLLLLLLLLLLLL** , my desk, Jerrie, Victor, Denise, Dena, Jeanette, Ruel, Aron, Raul, my son, Charlie Brown, Lucy, Linus and a cast of others. Hopefully when I go Monday to see Dr. Z she will give me an all clear for Tuesday. PLEASE!! Michelle in HR has been wonderful, she has kept me up to date with everything I need. Thanks Michelle! I just miss my little place within the place called --------- (ha ha did you think I was going to tell you where I worked --- HA HA!! *EVIL LAUGH* HA HA!!'

I haven't had a chance to go into sl until today. When I logged in I was greeted with a message from the owner of our apartment. Last time she imed me it was to tell me we had 5000 prims at our house. Which turned out to be BS!! I had had my friend TJ log in under me and pay the rent so I know that wasn't it. But it was actually so good news, she wanted me to let her know when I would be home to make arrangements for her to install a radio and a TV for our apartment. WOOT! That was some good news. She came in and installed it and the stations are HORRIBLE!! sorry, and the TV doesn't work. Now mind you maybe Dena aka Scarlett and Denise aka Angella may like some of them. I just love smooth modern Jazz, or some R& B, or some 70 or 80 music. The Jazz reminded me of some old jazz your great grandmother would listen too while she was at the Jute Joint back in the woods in the deep south near the swamps where everyone knows everyone and you get free beer because your Uncle Budda owns it. Are you getting the picture yet. No R&B, No 70 or 80's music and no beef jerky. I mean come onnn!!! OH and Angella no Frankie Baby either. So my happiness turn to she could of kept that crap. The TV is not working, it could be ME!! HA!! I will have Scarlett or Angella test it, if its NOT me then she needs to come back little Sheba and redo it. I went to my store to see if I had made any sells and it dawned on me Scarlett and Angella never seen my clothing store. ** MOUTH DROPS OPEN LIKE THE HOME ALONE KID WHO'S NAME NOW ESCAPED ME BECAUSE... OH NVM Mcaulay Culkin. I have got to show them my little store. I am actually working on a blog for it as well. But that blog is with my avatar in character. (meaning I speak from the avies point of view). Yes, I role play in game, not to many people can (thank you for the applause) but I find it more fun and interesting to role play. Otherwise its just a big chat world that you can spend money at.Right now I am taking a break and go Denas, Victor, IB and Trijae's blogs and see what they have been up too. I WILL BE BACK!!BTW. MISSED YA!!!