Reach out and TOUCH someone

I am already dressed and awaiting Jeff to pick me up So I thought ok why not blog something QUICK!! I have a lot to blog about but last night I could not keep my eyes open so I drifted off to sleep after talking to Scarlett. Last night I was going through a bag with papers, bills and coupons and I ran across "the Letters" I wrote my family members. My mouth dropped because I thought I had sent them OUT!! I had one to my brother, one to my cousin Dolores and my cousin Ronnie. I then realize that is why they had not contacted me, because they didn't know I was reaching OUT to them. I must admit, I am not a family person towards my extended family. It's not that I don't love them (ok ok some of them I don't give a SHIT about but the ones I wrote to and their families I do). I have a big family believe it or not, many here in California, in Texas, In the southern states of Mississippi and Alabama and in Florida on a reservation there under the Seminole tribes. My Native American side I don't know much about. I know I have MANY siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles of who all wanted to be a part of my life many years ago. At that time I honestly was too involved in my own life to give a damn and I cut ties. Now I want to get in contact with them and don't really know how. Then again, I may have the means but maybe I am not really trying hard enough. I know, I am a bad person and I should reach out and try to get to know them better. But when I think about doing it, I think .. WHY!! *shrugs* ok my son is here.. gotta go.